I FORGOT TO REPENTElectric the connection, so cosmic, and so out of this world,
Merging pieces, connecting thesis trying to convince you I should be your girl.
We transferred energies, made everlasting memories.
All while you were plotting on how to get rid of me.
You gave me a glimpse of yourself at first encounter, your home girl tried to tell me too, but my mind said “to doubt her.”
You loved me so good the couple of times that you could, made me feel wanted, whenever you were confronted.
I was picking out China, matching wallpaper to chairs, registering at Tiffany’s. Fully intrigued by your internal affairs.
Caught myself researching your sign, dedicating all time to finding out your in’s and out’s while your were just looking for an out.
You kept pushing, inching further and further away, but something was given to me that might have made you stay.
With each thrust you evoked trust, with each drip of lust, we made something made up of us.
The thing made from us, heard me cry and pray for this feeling to subside.
Funny as he or she took more energy, it became clear we were never meant to be.
But I tracked on, carried this unwanted load.
Said to myself, “I could do it alone”.
I could raise this child in love and honor, even without being at the altar, being given away by my father.
For a second, thought this collaboration between us, would have made you love
But in the end “we” never was.
You and I was a figment of my illusioned fantasies and to bring baby on board only meant forever to me.
As I was picking out car seats and laying out powdered pink sneaks, you were jet setting with your Hollywood freaks.
Busting shots of pseudo love in women, holding their hearts and souls as hostages. Taunting them with “Whose is it?”
Had me hypnotized and fixed with all your Jupiter learned tricks.
But I broke the trance, second guessing giving this new life a chance.
Pain set in, sickness too.
Baby started taking more and more and the month only got to “2”
Life started raining harder and harder on my paper house.
Rained so hard I told baby “to get out.”
In me your home no longer is, convinced myself that mommy’s too fucked up to raise a kid.
I never got a chance to meet you but you made your presence known as you grew.
Daddy’s too far in the world, too busy chasing after ol’ girl.
Dear baby I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you in this life, and maybe next time I’ll get it right.
Dear Lord, praying for a reprieve from my God above, begging never give me another chance to love.
Cuz I’m too broken to recognize the real, too hardened to even know the feel.
So please hear me, I’d rather take none, then to re-do what I’ve already done.
Father, forgive me for I have sinned.
This is my admittance and repentance. Amen.
--SHANA of our P.O.E.T.S.(Put On Earth To Speak) Crew!
Merging pieces, connecting thesis trying to convince you I should be your girl.
We transferred energies, made everlasting memories.
All while you were plotting on how to get rid of me.
You gave me a glimpse of yourself at first encounter, your home girl tried to tell me too, but my mind said “to doubt her.”
You loved me so good the couple of times that you could, made me feel wanted, whenever you were confronted.
I was picking out China, matching wallpaper to chairs, registering at Tiffany’s. Fully intrigued by your internal affairs.
Caught myself researching your sign, dedicating all time to finding out your in’s and out’s while your were just looking for an out.
You kept pushing, inching further and further away, but something was given to me that might have made you stay.
With each thrust you evoked trust, with each drip of lust, we made something made up of us.
The thing made from us, heard me cry and pray for this feeling to subside.
Funny as he or she took more energy, it became clear we were never meant to be.
But I tracked on, carried this unwanted load.
Said to myself, “I could do it alone”.
I could raise this child in love and honor, even without being at the altar, being given away by my father.
For a second, thought this collaboration between us, would have made you love
But in the end “we” never was.
You and I was a figment of my illusioned fantasies and to bring baby on board only meant forever to me.
As I was picking out car seats and laying out powdered pink sneaks, you were jet setting with your Hollywood freaks.
Busting shots of pseudo love in women, holding their hearts and souls as hostages. Taunting them with “Whose is it?”
Had me hypnotized and fixed with all your Jupiter learned tricks.
But I broke the trance, second guessing giving this new life a chance.
Pain set in, sickness too.
Baby started taking more and more and the month only got to “2”
Life started raining harder and harder on my paper house.
Rained so hard I told baby “to get out.”
In me your home no longer is, convinced myself that mommy’s too fucked up to raise a kid.
I never got a chance to meet you but you made your presence known as you grew.
Daddy’s too far in the world, too busy chasing after ol’ girl.
Dear baby I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you in this life, and maybe next time I’ll get it right.
Dear Lord, praying for a reprieve from my God above, begging never give me another chance to love.
Cuz I’m too broken to recognize the real, too hardened to even know the feel.
So please hear me, I’d rather take none, then to re-do what I’ve already done.
Father, forgive me for I have sinned.
This is my admittance and repentance. Amen.
--SHANA of our P.O.E.T.S.(Put On Earth To Speak) Crew!
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